It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
