Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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