Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
