all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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