would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
