you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
