well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
