Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
