I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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