I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
