somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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