Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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