is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
