I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He did a backflip because drugs
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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