i love accidental penises.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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