u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
