Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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