He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
