I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
