I showed him my bush... on skype.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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