Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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