guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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