You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
