You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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