It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
