So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i drank out of a bidet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think people are normalizing furries
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
