I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
