I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
