Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
