it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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