This girl is more easily done than said...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
