This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
3pm strippers are depressing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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