so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
