A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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