that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
