I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
