I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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