suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
