Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
