Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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