Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
