he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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