this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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