That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well you can't waste a boner
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
