You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
