i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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