Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
