Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
