these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
