It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
